I've Never Met a Nice South African

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"I've Never Met a Nice South African" is a satirical song originating in a sketch on the British television series Spitting Image (series 2, episode 5). It was written by John Lloyd and Peter Brewis and was sung by Andy Roberts. Its melody takes inspiration from the song "Cool for Cats" by Squeeze. In 1986 it was commercially released as the B-side of the chart-topping "The Chicken Song". When the song was recorded, South West Africa (now Namibia) remained an unofficial colony of South Africa, which was still under the apartheid regime and widely considered to be a pariah state as a result. The song is narrated in the music video by a seasoned expatriate traveller who describes a number of experiences that are unlikely ("I met a man in Kathmandu who claimed to have two willies"), fantastical ("I've seen unicorns in Burma and a Yeti in Nepal"), absurd ("I've had a close encounter of the 22nd kind, that's when an alien spaceship disappears up your behind"), nonsensical ("I've danced with...

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